Attracted To Shiny Objects: The Saturday Morning Post

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Saturday Morning Post

Good Saturday to ya!

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's dern near perfect.'

And then the fight started...

See you in the funny papers.

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Life, Light, and Laughter

A whistling woman and a crowing hen always come to no good end.
Always choose life.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
Believe in miracles.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Can you cry under water?
Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the songs?
Don't compare your life to others'; you have no idea what their journey is all about.
Don't point at a grave or your finger will rot.
Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
Eat yams.
Facial exfoliant? Cornmeal
For a sore throat, take a teaspoon of honey.
For Freckles: Go to the oat patch on the first day of May before sun up and wash your face with dew. Put your hands on your knees and the freckles will go there.
For stuttering, hit the person in the mouth with a chicken gizzard.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
One good swig of apple cider vinegar a day for good general health
Sinus pressure? Use warm salt water wash with ONE drop tea tree oil.
To make your son tell his girlfriend's name, catch him asleep and put his hand in a pan of cold water.
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

The Moving Picture Shows and My Two Cents

* indicates movies I would not normally watch or recommend because of the rating, but 34 likes them.
27 Dresses - cute story about sister jealousy and loyalty; rated PG-13; 3 stars
Calendar Girls - one of my faves; funny and touching; older women raise funds for a friend's husband who has cancer; rated PG-13 for old women with no clothes on; 4 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
Catch Me If You Can - good man's movie; interesting plot; rated PG-13; 4 stars
Christmas With the Kranks - LOL funny; puts love and family in perspective; rated PG; 4 stars
Game Plan - cute actors and sweet story line; rated PG; 3 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION just for Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!)
In Her Shoes - Beginning is rough; ending is good; rated PG-13 for language and some scenes; 3 stars
Julie and Julia - two stories in one; Julie's cute but whines; Julia is class all the way; rated PG-13; 4 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
Letters to Juliet - she 'honeymoons' (before marriage) with her boyfriend in Italy and finds a love mystery to solve; sweet movie but the ending is cheesy; rated PG-13? maybe for the old man in the speedo; 3 stars
Marley and Me - oh so sweet story; LOL scenes; sad, tear-jerk ending; rated PG; 5 stars
Martha Inc - sweet girl turns into a greedy woman; shows you how far ambition can take a person; rated PG - 4 stars
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris - delightful story about an older woman working to buy a Christian Dior dress; movie probably made in the 1970's with Angela Lansbury; No rating; 5 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION if possible)
My Life In Ruins - a cute ladies' movie about an American tour guide in Greece who finds herself and finds love; rated PG-13 for sexual content; 3 stars
Nanny Insanity - interesting plot and mediocre acting; rated PG-13 probably for the costuming and language; 2 stars
One Night With the King - beautiful protrayal of Bible character Esther and her purpose; rated PG; 5 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
Public Enemy* - set in the 1930's, notorious gangster John Dillinger and friends terrorized the mid-west after escaping from prison; rated R for sex scene and violence; 4 stars
Secondhand Lions - a man's movie with grumpy old men and a young boy; good story; rated PG; 3 stars
Shall We Dance - one of my faves; for once, the man wants to learn to dance; LOL scenes; a romantic thread runs through it; rated PG-13; 4 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
Shallow Hal - Hal is "de-hypnotized" which changes his perception of people who are overweight; good message; rated PG-13 for language and sexual content; 3 stars
Stepmom - deals with divorce and illness; good plot; rated PG-13; 4 stars
Taking Chance - true story and excellent portrayal, tear-jerker, very moving; will make you proud of our military; not rated; 5 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
Tara Road - two women learning to deal with personal tragedies and who trade homes; rated PG; 4 stars
The Blind Side - true story; inspirational; LOL parts; not rated; 5 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
The Devil Wears Prada - a good (and sometimes funny) story about ambition and designer clothes; rated PG-13; 4 stars
The Phantom of the Opera - great music; interesting story line; rated PG-13 for brief violent images; 4 stars (ADD TO COLLECTION)
The Proposal - funny, LOL, cute plot; rated PG-13 for nude scene where she attempts to hide parts and language; 3 stars
The Tooth Fairy - Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Julie Andrews, and Billy Crystal are fabulous! "The Rock" is quite mean and steals tooth fairy money from his girlfriend's little daughter. He then is turned into a tooth fairy for not 'believing' in fantasy. There's a subtle message to children that it's important to believe in fairies, goblins, leprechauns, and such; funny; rated PG; 3 stars

Library Under Construction: READING: How Not To Look Old

A Prisoner of Versailles
Beautiful Stories from Shakespeare for Children
Bud & Me (I love this little book!)
China Cry
Crazy Love
Destined for the Throne
Flat Belly Diet
G.A. Henty Collection
Gardening With Herbs
Great American Speeches
History of the Cherokee Indians
Hosting the Birds
How Not To Look Old
How Should We Then Live?
In His Steps
In the Shadow of the Sun King
It's Easier to Succeed Than It Is to Fail
Jefferson: Riverport to the Southwest
Josephus
Landmark Books Collection
Love Is A Wild Assault (my all-time fave)
Marriage To a Difficult Man-The Uncommon Union of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards
Murdered Heiress - Living Witness
My Utmost For His Highest
Ninety Minutes in Heaven
Not Without My Daughter
Oxford Essential World Atlas
Roadside Flowers of Texas
TEXAS
The Beautiful Side of Evil
The Best of Lewis Carroll
The Birkenhead Drill
The Book of Virtues
The Complete Book of Herbs
The Diary of An Edwardian Lady
The Evolution of a Creationist
The Family Book of Christian Values
The Glass Castle
The God Chasers
The Hour I First Believed
The Letter of Theodore Roosevelt for His Sons
The Mentor Book of Major American Poets
The Moral Compass
The Real George Washington
The Resurrection File
The Richest Man Who Ever Lived
The Romantic Garden
The Story of the Declaration of Independence
The Texas Bug Book
The Top 500 Poems
Unceasing Worship
War and Peace
Writing to God's Glory
Younger by the Day

Attracted To Shiny Objects

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Saturday Morning Post

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